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Friday, 22 November 2013

Rules and Regs

Dear Olivia.

Magic is H-O-T!!!
(I'm touching one paw to my haunch and saying sizzle at the same time!)
He's very handsome with a rugged edge. Definitely magic!

Also, don't worry about the cloning thing. I happen to know you are irreplaceable.
Plus, mom checked into the clone thing one time and it is very, very expensive.
I'm sure your people would rather spend money on one of those wheel
boxes.

Now, Chip and I have been discussing the rules and regs that will take effect
once we buy Bantham. This is what we have come up with so far:

1. No person is ever to brush, pick, shear, cut, or strip our beards. Ever.

2. No person is ever to brush any part of our bodies. Ever. This is also to include preening out
the fur between our toes.

3. The new flag of Bantham shall be a ham with slices of bacon framed around the four
sides of the flag. Then, in a continuous circle around the ham we shall have repeats of our faces inside stars. Please give me your input on this as it is very important that we collaborate.

4. Meals should be served as follows: Breakfast, Second Breakfast, First Snack, Lunch, Onesies, Second Snack, Supper, Second Supper, Late Night Snack or Third Snack.

5. Once a month will be a National Snack Day.

6. A large square of natural grass will be in every home so we don't have to "go" out in the rain.

7. Holiday trees will be topped with a bedazzled Kong and strung with wooden sculptures of gopher, woodchuck, squirrel, chipmunk, and bacon.

8. There shall be a park on every corner, and a fire hydrant.

9. Windows must be down on all wheel boxes when we ride in them.

10. Endless supply of nuts. (per Chip)

Okay. That's what I have so far. Please let me know your thoughts and add anything else you desire.
The first one is very important to me. You see, the dad person cut my beard a few days ago and I am very unhappy with the situation. I feel like I've lost my identity. I'm checking on the internet for these extension things that all of the celebrities wear. I just need something to wear until my beard grows back.

Talk soon.

Hugs,
Panda