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Sunday, 10 November 2013

I'm Alive!

Dear Olivia.

Happy Belated Birthday!!!

Wow! I am still licking the screen over your Birthday Beef Cake! That looked delicious! You have the best mom. My mom doesn't bake me Birthday Beef Cakes. I will be discussing this with her. It seems that the priorities in my pack are in an improper order. This will be remedied.

I know what you mean about those squirrels running up trees. They just don't want us finding their squeakers. Trusted Advisor Chip has two. He says that the Squirrels are just playing with us and that they dream of us one day catching them and squeaking their squeakers. Squeakers are the best.

So you don't live with cats but you have a Kat? That is funny. Does she hiss at you when you sniff her bum? Can you ask her why that is so offensive? Also, try to find out how they are able to contort their bodies into such painful looking positions.  I don't understand the mechanics of them. I myself have terrible flexibility issues.

So I have been rescued from the boarding establishment. Thank God. I am so glad that is over. I told mom and dad they are never to visit Hogsnort's again. And to think mom told me I was going on an adventure! After my ordeal I am concerned that mom may have some issues with being truthful. While inside that cell I dreamed of the many things I could do to mom to take out my frustrations. I am pretty sure I can hold a Sharpie marker in my mouth. I've been studying the art of the mustache. I've just got to find my courage, and mom in a vulnerable position.
Once I got back to the den I ran around so much that I sort of wore myself out. Then I drank lots of water. And I ran around some more.

                                             Go to sleep mom. Yes. Go to sleep.

So things are back to normal for the Panda. I seem to have lost some of my power with the cats which I will be working on over the next few days. They will take me seriously again. After all, there can be only one.

I hope you have a fun filled week. Oh, and by the way, let your mom know that I happen to love food that has gone bad. The stinkier the better. Damn the consequences.

Love,
Panda