Friday, 1 November 2013

Dog In a Hole

Dear Olivia.

I am being held captive in a strange facility that smells like toilet cleaner and cat pee. No. I am not home. Dad brought me here! He and mom are obsessed with Harvey Potter (is that correct?) and they dumped me off at this boarding place so they could visit Hogsnorts in Florida. I am livid! I do have snacks. Thank you for your concern. I was able to release the latch on my containment cube and I am using the computer at the front desk to communicate to you my plight. There are other dogs here and the waitstaff have been nice, but, the other dogs have been laughing about my body proportions which is just rude! I have been reciting the Christina Aguilera song I Am Beautiful. Because I am. Mom tells me so.

To answer your question, I don't believe my tongue is quite as long as my legs. Yours is very impressive! Do you have breath issues? Mom makes me go to the dentist for teeth cleanings but always ends up calling me Stinky Wizzleteeth anyway. I'd better go, Rizzo the night attendant is coming back soon. I am coming home on Monday and will be back on my laptop. You have an excellent idea about getting our own mobile phones. I am going to ask Santa. Sending hugs. Panda.

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