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Monday, 25 November 2013

Rules and regs part 2

Hello Panda,

I'm sorry for being so quiet but I've been busy daydreaming about visiting those Jamon shops with Magic. Mmm...Ham...mmm...Magic *drools*

You've made a great progress on Bantham! I'm liking all the rules, especially the flag idea! We need to be careful to hang it properly. I once made that mistake with my Mom's person country flag ( she is Polish) and she laughed at me and called me silly Seally because apparently upside down Polish flag is...Indonesian? And it's not the same. Poland is square (like my bottom) and full of Ham. Indonesia is full of volcanos and one of my favourite people friends comes from there.

I'm thinking that we should also add some of the rules me and Magic came up with:

1. We are to sit on the front seat when riding in the car. Child booster seat acceptable. No seat belt, as it will stop half of our bodies hanging out of the window when the car is moving. Stupid seat belts.
2. Every house should have an extendable moveable steps so we could see what dish is being prepared so we don't waste half an hour begging, only to find out that we've wasted time begging for onions or something equally pointless.
3. Tennis balls should be everywhere within reach. I quite fancy one of those Beds. It's been on my wish list for a long time.
4. Spreading across the bed and pretending to be fast asleep before Mom and Dad people get to bed should be acceptable. I hear that those inflatable bouncy castle beds are comfy. They should try to sleep on them. We should reserve our rights to come and join them whenever we want.
5. Sleeping next to our people with our bums facing their faces should not only be allowed but encouraged ( they seem to be so funny about it at the moment. No idea why. It means we trust them!)
6. Whining to go out only to whine 2 seconds later to be let in should be ok. Like they have better things to do!
7. We should be allowed to get into any car with open door.  Mom person embarrassed me so many times dragging me out of some great vans and cars. They opened the door, they were going somewhere in the car! Exciting! I want to go, too!
8. Squirrels are to wait for us to get them before trying to run away ( I think I might have to negotiate with Chip on this one).
9. Pooing in the bushes is ok. Why would I poo somewhere where Mom or Dad person can reach? I'm a lady so I'll poo in the ivy bush. Every. Single. Time. Especially at night.
10. Burping in people's faces after drinking water is acceptable. They should stop laughing and saying I burp like a lad.
11. No one should be allowed to visit the loo without me watching them. Mom and Dad people learnt to accept it but our guests are still being funny about it. Silly people...

I know there are more rules we should include so let's carry on with this list.

And I also wanted to say that I feel your pain about the home grooming...hang on in there... It will grow back sooner than they think!
 What have you done you evil woman???  Just       wait till you fall asleep
Love, 
Xxx

Olivia