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Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Dear Olivia

Hello Olivia.

My name is Panda. Or Panda Nana. Actually, when I was still a member of a litter back in Bakersfield, California my name was Yellow. All of my brothers and sisters were named after different colors so our breeder person could keep us apart. So I started out being Yellow. I am pretty sure that shortly after I was born Chris Martin, lead singer of my favorite band, Cold Play, wrote a song, wrote a song for me. And it was called Yellow. That was actually a year before I was born. But I like to think that it was meant to be. My mom person tells me that yellow means caution and that it was a perfect first name for me.

I now reside in a place that is hot as 47 hells called Cullman, Alabama. Here, people do not know of Sealyhams. When the mom person walks me people ask if I am a "Westie." It's very offensive. Even more offensive is that the mom person has grown so accustomed to hearing this question that she just smiles, nods, and walks on. She never even corrects them! Do they even look at my ears? My ears are not POINTY! RUFF! I'll bet no one ever mistakes you for a Westie there in the motherland.

I do apologize for my late response to your first communication. The mom person was away again and I did not have access to the laptop. She leaves. A lot. She's some traveling working person, a busy business woman if you may, and that is fine with me. I like having my dad all to myself. He is the best! Until I eat poop. And then he gets really loud and makes ugly faces. I probably shouldn't have said that. About the poop I mean.

I am so happy to have found you. If only we weren't so far away! But at least we can converse back and forth over this web thing. There has been a lot of uproar over here in the states lately about our government shut down. I just don't understand humans. They put people into positions of great power without ever once sniffing their butts! I mean come on! How are you really to know how trust-worthy a person is until you have sniffed their butt? If you ask me that is the problem with America. They trust the words coming out of other humans mouths when they should be trusting something entirely different! A simple sniff around the buttocks and you're done. It's like a credit report and a million personal references tied into one. Anyway, I could go on and on but I am sure you know exactly what I mean. These humans are silly.

I am leaving you with a recent picture of me in my favorite place. The spot in front of my food station. I'm actually saying "Hi" in this shot. I hope you like it. Talk to you very soon. Peace out, Dog.

Best,
Panda