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Saturday, 26 October 2013

Countries That Are Shaped Like Bacon?

Dear Olivia,

YOU HAVE A KONG TOO?!?!?!  That is SWEET! I love my kong so much! I have this trick that I use with the Kong. I will share it with you as long as you pinkie swear not to tell anyone else. Once I've taken the Kong away from mom or dad, I run away with it. When I am within at least arms reach I will push my jowl into the little hole. Then I present the Kong back to mom and dad. Only this time, they can't take it because it is stuck to my mouth! It's so funny to watch them pull and pull! You should try that with Mr. or Mrs.  Food Dispenser. You will love it!

I like your idea of ruling a country. I think we should look into this further. You bring up some very valid points. I concur. What exactly is a country? I pulled out an atlas and found a place that is somewhat shaped like a piece of bacon. It is called California. The place that is called Florida also has a bacon shape. I read that the top is called the panhandle. If there is a panhandle then surely there is a pan! And inside of pans come the best food! Are California and Florida considered countries? If they aren't could we consider them? Anything bacon shaped has to be a good thing, right?
As you can see I sought the counsel of my trusted adviser, Chip. Chip used to be brown with a white and black stripe on his back. One day, he went missing and when he returned he smelled new and was a different color, and had put on weight.  His squeaker had also miraculously healed! It was a miracle! But as I was saying, I discussed this country ruling idea with Chip and he would like us to pick out a place that is full of nuts. According to mom and dad, nuts are everywhere. They seem to be found on places called highways and roads. That will be the next thing I Google. Chip will be pleased.

So anyway, I have a question for you. It's more of a concern actually. I seem to be missing something. In several of your pictures I see that you have a very nice and long wavy waggy thing. I have made a thorough inspection of my wavy waggy thing and it is much more short compared to yours. Could I have been in an accident and lost it? I've checked several times and I am convinced it differs from yours. Does yours actually curl? Mine does not. I am concerned. Is something wrong with me?

Why is it so short?

By the way, if we do this country ruling thing I should tell you that I have a long history of slander against me. My parents have been stating the following for years, "Never trust a Panda." Could this hurt my chances of ruling? Is there someone that can erase this terrible and false record?

I hope you are having a good day. By the way, you cannot suck on a cat. They do not like that. And whatever you do, never try to lick their butt. They will cut you.

That is all.

Hugs,
Panda