I'm in trouble again! Peegate

Mom person was left speechless last night. They bought this new cream rug which I've been making myself comfortable on over the last couple of days. Yesterday we were going to sit on the sofa after celebrating my 1000 likes on Facebook and Mom person said: what on earth is that? She then started smelling the rug.
O.oo I know that tone of voice and it meant trouble so I chose to pretend I was really interested in the old episode of Suits  ( I've seen it already . It's the one, in which Mike needs to break up with Rachel although he doesn't want to).
But Mom person called my name straight away! She was pointing to something on the rug and saying: boo boo, do you know what that is? What happened???
I wanted to tell her that of course I knew what this was and that it was a pee patch but looking at her face I knew that it would have been a bad move.  So instead I looked at the patch.  DAMN, IT WAS VISIBLE!
I decided to hide.  I run to the bedroom and hid behind the bed.
The thing is... I'm a big girl and I never pee at home.

Mom and dad person removed the rug and left it in the spare bathroom and I'm not allowed in there.  They are going to have it cleaned this weekend.
And  whatever happened with the Peegate stays between me and the rug :-)

My New Year Resolutions!

I'm so excited about 2014!!!

I think it will be great and full of ham!

 

 So far, I've had couple of disasters.

 

For example, yesterday morning, all of a sudden, my foam ball exploded!

 

 

 oh nooo...What's happened here? It just exploded... yes, that's exactly what's happened. Boom!!! *spits out some foam and hides evidence*

 

And I got told off for eating Mom Person's panettone because apparently it's got some raisins in it and it's bad for me! Pfft. It tasted good and I liked it. No regrets.

 

I was watching Mom Person's favourite film, Bridget Jones, and dozing off ( the main character doesn't seem to eat a lot, only drinks, so I lost interest) when something caught my attention: new year's resolutions!

 

 

That looked interesting! As I already have an awesome boyfriend, Magic, I don't need to waste my time on that but I thought that it would be good to have some goals for this year!

 

I was so excited I couldn't sleep! Mom and Dad people told me off as I kept walking all over them while they were trying to sleep. I was just too excited to sleep! It's called AMBITION, people!

So this morning I got up nice and early and drove Dad Person to the station with Mom Person and had a walk, breakfast, snack, belly rub and then I was ready to work!

 

So far I think it looks pretty impressive!

 

OLIVIA'S NEW YEAR RESOLUTION LIST:

 

1. Find a way to buy Bantham. Maybe I should write to Simon Cowell or maybe President Obama and ask for their help?

2. Eat less ham snacks food. Eat more peas and carrots.

3. Stop chasing Only chase squirrels when in the park.

4. Stop stealing People's food Eat only food I can reach without climbing on barstools.

5. Find a way to waterproof myself so I don't have to get washed. I saw some shoe sprays in Boots. Maybe I will try that?

6. Destroy brushes. Hide evidence. Convince Mom Person that brushing is evil.

7. Torture Mom Person and find out what she has done with my balls. Find out what happened to ALL MY TENNIS BALLS after my visit to the vet and why are we now only having those stupid exploding foam ones.

8. Design a stool I can push around to get to the fridge, freezer and locked door. I will also need an opposable thumb.

9. Sleep more. It's important, I should have had it as point no 2.

10. Loose weight.. hehe just kidding. I'm perfect.

 

 

so hi 5 to my new favourite,full oh ham, year and my New Year Resolutions! :-P

 

This is an open list so I might add more later. Do you think I've missed something?

 

Love,

 

Olivia

 

 

Hammy New Year to you all!!

Hi Panda,

What a day I've had! 

The weather was pants so I had to wear my chav track suit. Eugghhh...

 What are you looking at? Do you want me to kick your butt? 

But we went out and Mom person found an amazing stick. 

And we were playing with it until she chucked it in the lake by mistake. *Sigh*

I made it clear I would jump in unless she saves it. So she did. Clever Mom person.

This is some of my action shots. 

 Pretty cool, huh?

I wasn't kidding myself, I knew the wash was coming as soon as we get home, especially after I jumped in a mud puddle face first! 

 Can we negotiate? Seriously, let's talk things through...

Noooo... Not another wash, we had one a month agoooo!!! 

 I hate you. I'm soooo running away from home...after dinner! 

 Seriously, I really hate you! Johnson & Johnson is not going to make it better! 

 Taa daaa!!! 

Mom person knew she wasn't on my good books so she did what all clever Moms do, something that I love, to put me back in a good mood! Frozen peas!!!!! 

 Nom Nom Nom... I love you Mom person!!!

Now we are resting and getting ready to celebrate the end of a great year! I hope 2014 is going to be even better!!! 

Hammy (and Baconny) New Year to you my dear Panda friend and all our friends, new and old!!!

Thank you for sharing 2013 with us. 

You are what makes Bored Sealyham a very happy pooch!!!

Woof woof

Xxx

Love, 

Olivia 

It was the best Christmas ever!!!!

Hi Panda! 

Has Santa visited you? 

I had the best day today EVER! 

I couldn't wait to get up- I knew that Santa was visiting and I wanted to check what he got me but my Mom and Dad people were so slow to get up! 

And guess what? Santa has been!!!

Look he had some of the mince pie and carrot and even my frozen peas! 

I was so excited! 

And there were pressies next to the tree! 

Hurray!!!

 It's Christmas, yayyyyyyyy!!! 

Oh boy, I was so happy! Then it was time to unwrap it all!! 

And Santa did listen to me! He got me the teeth ball! 

I will post the video later! 

Ho ho ho

Love, 

Olivia 

Merry Christmas to you!

Hi Panda, 

I'm so excited it's Christmas! 

We have spent this morning baking with Mom person. 

 Zzz...

What? I was supporting her mentally! 

And look what we have made! 

 See? I told you I was helping! What if a burglar came in and tried to steal them?

 This is me!! Mom person made a special tail so it looks like me! It's so pretty I might bark! 

We might send you some in the post! 

Now we are going to make some sausage rolls ( with cheese! ) 

Woooof woof. Xxxx

Boo the Baker 

How to carry a stick!

hi Panda,

Mom person recorded me carrying a stick. I was so proud of myself.

I look like a serious weight lifter here.

Washing is evil!

Everyone knows that I hate having my face washed! Arghhh

 

 

 

I wish us a Merry Christmas and a Bacon New Year!

Hi Panda,

My hip is fine but I've been banned for life from playing with my tennis balls!!! I was devastated! Did you know that tennis balls damage your teeth? My mom person started looking at my teeth closely and brushing them every night ( urghh) and she couldn't understand why they looked so worn. My lovely vet ( oh, he was so dreamy and gave me so many snacks :-)) told my Mom person that I can only play with rubber balls from now on. She better hurry up with ordering one as I'm getting ball withdrawal symptoms here!

Now... the exciting part:

Your Christmas list is incr-EDIBLE :-) I mean, I would happily eat most of your gifts, especially the scarf  and Lady Gaga's dress ( I've just had a thought- maybe we should write to Lady Gaga and ask her for a generous donation to our Bantham fund?  She is on TV a lot so she must be rich?). And Jerry's parents are my all time favourite. I wrote to them long time ago asking if they could adopt me but never heard back. They must be busy filming Jerry!

I , myself also started working on my list of perfect dog gifts and here it is:

1. HAM PILLOW!

http://www.incrediblethings.com/home/cuddle-up-with-some-ham/
It seriously doesn't get any better than this!

I can picture me and my ham pillow laughing in bed and falling asleep cuddled up together.

 

2. HOTEL ROOM QUALITY SERVICE

 

 This dog, Oscar must be the luckiest dog alive! Just look at him. I need to have a word with Mom person immediately. She ought to try harder!

 

 

 

3. BACON THROW
http://www.cafepress.co.uk/+bacon_throw_blanket,710780476

Nouf said.

4. SNACK DISPENSERS WHEN PEOPLE ARE NOT AT HOME.

 

http://www.petchatz.com/store/petchatz.html

Personally, I would just ask for a snack jar to be left on the floor but then, this is fun, too!

5. TENNIS BALL BED

I've told you how much I want one of those but I've just found bigger version of it! I'm too excited to bark!

Get off my bed, lady!

6. DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT MOM PERSON!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/81917449/extra-small-star-wars-dog-hat-costume?ref=exp_listing

7. SAUSAGE LEAD
Awesome!
http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2013/06/12/15-amazing-dog-accesories/

8. QUACK MUZZLE FOR THE NAUGHTY ONES AMONGST US
http://item.rakuten.co.jp/winkl/ot-668-030/

 Better than the normal ones and makes us look like we are just joking around!

9. DOG PEEK FOR NOSY ONES
http://www.petpeek.info/

 Oh hello neighbour! Why are you naked in your pool?

10. MILEY CYRUS WRECKING BALL ORNAMENT
http://www.incrediblethings.com/home/diy-miley-cyrus-wrecking-ball-ornament/

 I don't know why I even put it here. There is something fishy about her I can't put my paw on it. Mom person says she is gross. I say: never trust a skinny girl with a funny tongue.

And I've left the best one till last

11. TEETH BALL
http://www.amazon.com/Rogz-Grinz-Treat-Ball-Medium/dp/B008M7353W

oh..my... God...I love!

 

I'm so excited about Christmas!

 

I heard Mom person telling Dad person that she's ordered a goose and ham (HAM!!!!) for 6 people and as far as I'm concerned we can disinvite everyone coming over and just eat the goose and Ham! Unless they want to bring some ham with them as a gift in which case yes, please come over!!!

 Ho Ho Ho!!!!

 

Love,

 

Boo Boo ( Olivia)

Tis' the Season

Hello Olivia.

I've been scouring the inter webs to find the best presents.

I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to make a list of the things that our doggie friends
would love to receive as a gift this holiday season.

So here is a top ten list.

10.  Bacon Scarf.  Seriously? It really does exist! What self respecting dog wouldn't feel like
canine royalty sporting this jauntily wrapped about their necks? And we have a LOT of neck!

9. Lady Gaga Meat Dress. Could you imagine the circles we would run wearing this? Sized to our proportions of course. 

8.  Endless supply of Kong Toys. Self explanatory. 

7.  Sheep In a Jeep Story Book by Nancy Shaw. This is one of my favorites. It has funny rhymes and the parent people can put any of the sentences to music. I highly recommend it. 

6.  Dog umbrella. At least until we take over Bantham and enforce the one green patch of grass inside every home rule. 

5.  A ball launcher just like Jerry's.

http://youtu.be/4PcL6-mjRNk

Could you imagine? I faint at the mere thought of having a toy this awesome!

4.  22K Gold-Thread Pet Mattress. Because you've never really unraveled a mattress until you've unraveled a mattress of 22K gold. Or so I've heard. 

3.  Year long membership into the Zingerman's Bacon of the Month Club. Shall I suggest starting out with their Praise the Lard package? It pairs very well with the Red Eye Gravy Sauvignon.

2.  The worlds largest ham biscuit. We can curl up inside and use the bun as a blanket until we eat it all!

1.  A Hobbit dog house! The journey to destroy the One Ring has to begin somewhere! And what better place than our very own Hobbit Hole? Those hobbits love food! And we love food! So surely a Hobbit Hole will produce an endless supply of hearty meals, and good company to share it with. I love this particular picture showcasing this lady. She is showing us that even a human would love it. SOLD!

So that is what I've found. Feel free to add more.

How is your hip doing? 

Hugs,

Panda

Oh Wowza!!!

You have the best ideas Olivia!! And I am LOVING that you are utilizing the Sharpie marker. They correct a lot of non Sealy approved things and behaviors of our moms and dads.

Those biscuits look delicious!! I think you captured our ears nicely! Now that is a Sealy profile!

Excellent Sharpie Marker Usage!

Me and my fierce profile back in my younger years. 

I don't want to alarm you but your new white stuffed friend looks a bit dodgy.

                      

                      NOM, NOM, NOM

I was very relieved to see that particular look in your eyes as you greeted him. It lets me know you share the same instinct. Just look at his cheeks! 

He seems to already have a mouth full of your treats. Probably your mom person sharing your delicious delectables again. (Shaking my head). When will they learn?

Let's zoom in on that look you gave once more...

                          

                               "What the hell?"

It reminds me a bit of the Dramatic Chipmunk. 

                          

"You gonna draw back nubs if you think you'll be taking any of my treats today!"

Stay diligent! Show no mercy! And on another note. Does he have a squeaker? 

By the way, my mom person has been out a lot lately. She seems to be doing something, or looking for something. She's been very preoccupied. So I've just been chillin.'

"Mom. Don't forget you have other important responsibilities here at home. We need more B & B. Blogging and Bacon please."

Well that's about all I have for today. Maybe I'll get to go to work with my mom soon just like you. That would be awesome!

Loves and Licks,

Panda